This is what it feels like.

I'm not sure why I decided to do this, but today I filmed a minor anxiety attack I had. I'd been thinking about doing it for a while but today just felt right. I've had a crappy week (and I mean Crappy with a capital 'C') but thankfully I was at home when this attack struck. It mostly involved hyperventilating, tension and an inability to move/talk/function. Stringing a sentence together was difficult and you'll see in the video I have lots of twitches and jerks which are common with my attacks.

Why did I do this? To be honest, I'm not sure I have the answer. All I knew was that this wasn't too bad, but I wanted people to see, to understand that even anxiety disorders on an 'alright' day can be discomforting and distressing. I would find it difficult to be in any kind of social situation when this happened (which you'll probably agree with after watching the video).

Anxiety disorders come with a lot of ambiguity and that's what I struggle with. It's the fact that I can be having an average day - today I've had a wonderfully productive cleaning day - and it can just come slap me in the face out of nowhere. That's the problem with an anxiety disorder, it just comes gobbles you up whenever it pleases.

I do have a video my partner decided to take from a couple of weeks back which shows me struggling with a particularly bad attack, but I'm not sure I want to share yet. We'll see how this goes first.

I think it's just important to recognise the physical symptoms an anxiety disorder brings with it. Yes, the psychological symptoms are incredible difficult to cope with and manage, but in combination with the physiological symptoms it can be hard to move at all.

If anyone is suffering with panic attacks, please know you are not alone. Seek help. Ask for support. You deserve it.